My cousin, My best friend, My Titi

Well 5/22 is my missing pieces birthday so I've decided tonight's blog will be for her.

Its been less the 2 years since she has come into my life. From the beginning of our facebook adds, we clicked. She instantly was my best friend. On bad days she was there to tell me to get my shit together. On good days she was there to laugh with me. For MONTHS we spent every day texting, talking on the phone, or Facebook tagging each other in funny shit. On days I felt alone she was there to remind me that even if no one was physically there by me, she was still with me. During my broken heart moments, during my anger for my kids, during fights with my mom or sister, My Titi was always there. Never a doubt that if I needed her, she was only a call or text away.

We quickly decided that we would build a bridge that our parents never did, and quiet honestly, that was probably for the best. We began a Christmas tradition of sending each other personalized cousin ornaments for our trees, She sent the first one and last year I sent hers.

The first time I ever remember laying eyes on her will be a day I never forget. I had some "issues" with her boyfriend at the time and was pretty relentless with him.  Every time he would post something cute on her facebook, I would just simply say "no". Anytime one of them posted that they were doing something together , another NO was added to the feed. But a few weeks before they came to Kansas to see me and the effing ball of twine, Trudy had asked me for ideas for mothers day. I made some random suggestions as Titi had been very serious that she would never get married again. Trudy decided on a stunning watch and my opinion was changing. While there were things that had happened that made me mad(anything that makes her anything less then the happiest woman in Texas makes me mad, just for the record), I could see that he loved her and he was at least trying. I got a picture of the watch before she got it and I knew instantly she would love it, because I did, and well... we're kinda the same people. haha  a few weeks later, here Trudy came with more questions on what to get her for her birthday. I tried to be so incognito but was asking questions. She said something that she hadn't told anyone and that was a game changer for me...she said "he bought me a truck to get us to Kansas to see you, and that's all I need. I have everything I want and one day I'll have his last name" There it was.... a confession. It was the moment that I knew not only was she happier then shes ever been, but that I had to make that happen. Sure enough, Trudy pulled through and they were engaged that day.

To most people, that's just a cute love story. To most of you, that is just a memory I have of my cousin and her now husband, but its so much more to me. It was significant part of our relationship. I was there when she was crying her heart out, I was there when she made stupid choices, I was there to laugh with her, to be angry with her, and to help her plot against those who were causing her heartache(you can laugh, but those plots were serious.) . I was there when her son was being tested for a condition that could have changed their lives, I was there in her dark moments....but that isn't what I remember the most. What I remember the most was her telling me when I was being a hard headed bitch. She never faltered in the roll as my cousin, my best friend, my missing piece.

During their trip to Kansas we had more fun then it made since to have. Even though I was going through some things, Titi and Trudy were there. They made me laugh and they made me thankful they were there. This spring break Scott, the kids and I went to Texas and we did things that I would not have wanted to do with anyone else. Even during a heated discussion she was able to pull me back together so that our time together was not ruined. When we left Texas I cried like a baby. I know Ill see her again, but having a piece of your soul missing is pretty painful.

We shared stories of our childhood with eachother and yet it always felt like we lived it too.

Titi buried her mom at a very young age and yet she never let that define her. She has women in her life that graciously stepped in as her mom and even though she misses her mom everyday, she does not treat them like they are just her step mothers.... they are her mom.  This love carries into the way she treats Trudys boys, Joe and Jay! Those boys are just as much a part of her soul as the 2 she gave birth to. I am now in a relationship and he has 3 kids. I strive everyday to love these kids as much as Nikki loves Tudys(ok, those are their real names, but whatever).

So today, Titi, I want you to know that youre still the piece Ive been missing my whole life. You complete my soul. You are an amazing mom, wife, cousin, and friend. I look to you, my old cousin, for guidance and for advise, and as someone I strive to have the characteristics of.

I know Trudy and the kids will make this day special for you because that's the kind of man you married and kids you've raised.
But to you as just simply my best friend, I hope we can share many many many more amazing birthdays "together".

I Love you Letitia Pena!  Happy birthday dear cousin!!!!